There Are No Perfect Parents.
I find a lot of resistance to accountability from those in or before the 60s. Although many of these adults are taking accountability for some parts of their lives, they still have a hard time taking accountability for how their behaviors have influenced, molded, and directed the behavior of some of their children. It's like if their child is doing okay in the world, they're the star child and a reflection of all that's good about the parent, but if they aren't well then the parent had nothing to do with it, and it couldn't possibly reflect some of the more unhealed and negative aspects of a parent, or even a reflection of their past choices and behavioral patterns.
Recently I tried to express to a very defensive mother that her child was dealing with feelings of childhood abandonment, and is still acting that to this day. Now, this isn't an easy conversation to have because most people feel as if they are being blamed for their child's behavior, but that's not this. This isn't about making you a bad parent. Seriously, I haven't met one yet. We are all a work in progress. Nor, is this about taking the accountability away from the child. They, like we all, have free will, and thus must deal with the consequences of those actions. This is just about having an awareness of the other perspectives and giving them the grace to see things through their eyes.
Children are very self-absorbed so an action that occurred in childhood can and does well in fact influence their current behavioral patterns, even if it's something we would deem as small like walking quickly, while our child, with their little legs can't keep up, and the more space that comes between you the more panicked they become. Again, as the parent small thing, quick walk. As a frail, small, emotional, impressionable child, a big thing, was quick abandonment. Even if we don't agree with the perspective the awareness of it is what is being asked of all of us. Be present and be aware. Listen to the perspective. No one is saying you have to embody it, no one is saying it justifies and explains ways low vibrational behavior, what is being said is to think and look through the eyes of your brothers and sisters, your sons and daughters, sometimes. Having an awareness of the lens of fear doesn't mean it becomes your reality. It means you know where to wipe the lens of fear and clean it with love. There are no perfect parents. We're all doing the best we can, from what we know. Know this about your parents, know this about their parents, and know this as a parent. I love you, God loves you, and Angels surround you.
