Forgive You Now
Have you forgiven yourself yet?
Have you forgiven yourself for not honoring yourself?
Have you forgiven yourself for not being strong for yourself?
Have you forgiven yourself for not seeing the truth of something?
Have you forgiven yourself for believing the lies of an unhealthy love story?
Have you forgiven yourself for loving someone who didn't love you in return?
Have you forgiven yourself for not believing in yourself enough to walk away?
Have you forgiven yourself for allowing yourself to be hurt, in the name of love, or even time?
Have you forgiven yourself for not loving yourself in all those moments of pain, anguish, and trauma?
Have you forgiven yourself for betraying yourself, and not following the signs, the clues, the flags that told you to run, far, far away?
Have you forgiven yourself yet?
See, forgiveness is never about another person, it's always about ourselves. It's always about releasing the poison from our hearts, and our minds, and not the perceived person, situation, or place, that are associated with those poisons. We must forgive ourselves for still living out those painful moments, over and over in our minds, and realizing that they are over. Most long ago. Yes, that did suck, and it was fucked up. I mean how dare someone tell you they love you, and then turn around and treat you in such an unloving way? When did love become synonymous with pain, anger, frustration, toxicity, discord, fear? That is a lie. Love is never harmful. It does not make us want to cower in the corners with fear. It does not come shrouded in a cloak of insults and belittling remarks. It does not let you downtime and time again. It isn't selfish and isolating. It does not come with judgments, restrictions, and boxes. That is not love.
We are taught about love from our parents, family, community, the television, and yet all of these interpretations of love come through the lens of those who aren't always truly loving, respecting, or even honoring themselves. They are teaching us these interpretations through the lens of fear-smeared glasses, that distort the true vision, the perfect picture of love. And so we go into our love relationships with those fears, those distortions, and so does our partner(s), and we have quite the love mess to sort out. At some point, you have to forgive yourself, because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.
You can tell yourself the same story over and over again if you want, but then what? Then you live life with this toxic, distorted perception of love constantly in your life, and wonder why the cycle of pain continues, or you can stand up for yourself, and have an awareness of yourself, your cycles, your joys, your pains, and you can start to make a change in your life now. It's up to you. It always is. Yeah, the shit show happened, okay. I get it. So, you gonna move on, or you wanna continue to feed the pain monster. At some point you need to ask yourself just one simple question: Am I willing to TRY and forgive myself? Just try. Can you give yourself a chance, and just show up for yourself long enough to see how it feels to let that memory go. The memory that is so strong, it feels like a part of you? Are you willing to just give it a try? Are you willing to see if you forgive yourself? And then, will you be willing to love yourself again? Can you love you, as you've always wanted to be loved? Can you? Be honest. It's time. It's time. It's your time. The time is now. Beloved. Love thyself. I love you, God loves you, and Angels surround you.
