Let’s Start Again…
How many of us have heard that before? From someone who has caused us pain, and now wants a do-over? Yup! Been there, done that. What I have come to realize, over these many fine years of heartache and pain, is that that statement is just a cop-out, unless it comes after a deep, raw, honest conversation, that clears the air, and allows people to share their various perspectives.
See, ``let's start again" gives the person (who is probably narcissistic in many ways, and normally our perceived cause of the most pain), a way out, without accountability. If they say, 'hey, let's start again,' and a deep, raw, honest, vulnerable, and often painful conversation hasn't occurred, then they get a pass. They get to start over fresh, without having to acknowledge their part, without having to be accountable, without even truly respecting, acknowledging, or honoring how the other party feels. They get to start fresh and keep on keeping on, while the other person gets no solace, no comfort, no compassion, no respect, and ends up not feeling heard, seen, respected, or loved, and is left instead with resentment, and anguish. Then when the distributor of the pain does yet another painful action, and the receiver brings up something from a previous scenario, that is in complete alignment with this truth, they are made to be the enemy, and again lose power, respect, and self-love. This painful cycle of disempowerment and lovelessness doesn't benefit either party in the end.
It is AFTER both parties sit down, and talk to, not AT, one another, and see the other's perspective, doesn't mean you agree, you can agree to disagree, but you begin to at least SEE there is another perspective, and you view it, and from there, the 2 of you can agree 'hey we don't agree, but it's not a deal-breaker,' and move forward, or it is a deal-breaker, and move on. Free will. At the end of the day, 'let's start again' needs to come from a place of power for both parties. Imbalance leads solely to temporary resolutions, because they are based on a lie, and that lie will lead to more powerlessness, pain, tears, and unnecessary traumas. If you truly want to start again, you gotta listen, as well as speak. Respect, honor, and create a safe, sacred space. If only one party benefits from the do-over it won't last, because imbalance can not exist in a healthy, loving environment. It just can't. Fear < Love. Choose love. And this time when you start again, how about you start with you? You deserve the love you so eagerly give to others. Don't forget that.
I love you, God loves you, and Angels surround you.
